Sparrow : Lost In Tortall
by Sparrow
Summary: COMPLETED My first long humourous, I hope epic! Sparrow is granted one hour in Tortall, at first things go smoothly, for her that is, but complications soon arise! Pls RR!
1. Part 1

I would like to especially dedicate this fic to Ginny Wu and Lynn Foo. Two very precious friends of mine. Ginny, for introducing me to the wonderful world of Tortall. Lynn, for being there for me and tolerating my ranting and raving.   
  
Excuse the slight craziness and slightly sadistic nature in this fic; I'm just plain crazy at times. I have added some localism to give the story some realism, so ignore them if you don't understand them. Don't bother to flame me about my opinions, as they are, as I said, my opinions.  
  
Warning: I am presently angry with King J, so he is going to get a walloping.  
  
I would like to thank Faerie_gurl for lending me her idea of ranting and raving at characters. Her "Encounters with my enemy Cleon" has inspired me to do this fic.   
  
Like Faerie_girl, I am using this fic to take a break and break out of the mould for a while. The characters are sort of OOC, unlike my other "quote based" fics, or so I like to think. I had fun lashing out at the characters and I hope you like reading this. Oh yes, the first bit may be tedious as I am laying the road rails, (excuse my imagery) but the train is worth waiting, so plough on!  
  
Sparrow : Lost In Tortall  
  
Part 1  
  
Miss Tang stood menacingly in front of Sparrow, slamming her A-Math book (about 500 pages thick) on the latter's desk. The book nearly missed Sparrow's fingers and she jumped with a start. She peered cautiously at her A-Math teacher. Miss Tang always reminded Sparrow of a football player. No, not the kick the ball around a green field football. American football, where guys bash into each other to something something, erm, something. Oh well, you get the gist.  
  
"Yes, Miss Tang?" Sparrow asked timidly.  
  
"Stand up when you talk girl!" Miss Tang demanded.  
  
Sparrow hastily stood up, glimpsing her classmates' sympathetic glances. The class was dead silent, which was no different from the usual. Only a person with a suicide mission would whisper during Miss Tang's class.  
  
"Yes, Miss Tang?" Sparrow said, looking Miss Tang in the face. Sparrow didn't look at Miss Tang's face because it was particularly attractive. In fact, Miss Tang had a square face and strong bones. Very in with her character - formidable. The reason why Sparrow looked at Miss Tang was due to the simple fact that the last person that "muttered to the desk" ( may I quote from Miss Tang ) was sent to look at the corner of the classroom for the whole day since "my face is too ugly to be looked at". Sparrow's class all betted that their unlucky peer had touched a raw spot on Miss Tang. Of course, nobody won the bet as no one had the guts to ask Miss Tang herself if she minded being ugly.  
  
"Sparrow! When you differentiate 2cos(3x + 1), what do you get?" Miss Tang said.  
  
"Um, ah," Sparrow stammered, her brain frantically scrabbling for the answer.  
  
"-6sin(3x + 1)," Sparrow's friend, Shu Ling mouthed at her.  
  
"6sin…" Sparrow said slowly. Shu Ling started to mouth the answer very slowly. "(2x+1)?"  
  
"What?" Miss Tang asked, rapping her knuckles on Sparrow's desk.  
  
Shu Ling shook her hands violently. Miss Tang turned around and inquired in a silent, dangerous voice, "Miss Chan, what are you doing?"  
  
Shu Ling paused, her mind quick as lightning. "My hands are cramping up," she said feebly, shaking her hands.   
  
"And how would that be so since I have not written anything on the board for you to copy?" Miss Tang said with sudden acuteness.  
  
Meanwhile, being behind her back, my partner, who sat next to me, kicked me. Sparrow muffled a yelp and turned her attention from the drama in front of her eyes. She wrote in her exercise book, "Bo do!"  
  
Back in front, "Um, I was working out the question you gave to Sparrow, to see if I could do it as well," Shu Ling said and gave an angelic smile.  
  
Miss Tang grunted. Everyone started to cover their laughter and smiles by various methods developed by long practice. The coughing method, the hide-behind-the-book method, the look-serious-cover-your-mouth method, etc…  
  
Back at the back, Sparrow's mind went "NO, don't turn around yet!" Her partner had only written, "Bodo! The answer is -6sin(…"  
  
"Well, Miss Sparrow? I think we have entertained the class just enough. What is the answer?" Miss Tang said.  
  
"Er, -6sin(," Sparrow said doggedly. Shu Ling, started to hand gesture. "3x… + 1)!!" Sparrow declared triumphantly. Sparrow turned back her gaze to Miss Tang and realised her mistake. She had just violated the look-at-Miss Tang's-face-even-if-it-kills-you rule.  
  
"Sparrow," Miss Tang growled. "For your incompetence in A-Math, I have the perfect punishment for you to spur you to greater comprehension of the subject."  
  
To everyone's surprise, she walked over to the cupboard that contained brooms and dustpans. "You shall marry Ozorne!"  
  
"Ozorne?" Sparrow squeaked. She looked at the grinning Stormwing in surprise. "But I am human!"  
  
"No, you're not," Miss Tang said.  
  
Sparrow looked down, her hands had become claws and she had metallic wings. She was a Stormwing! "NOOO!!!" She screamed…  
  
… Sparrow woke up with a jerk. She had been dozing through Chemistry and had banged her head against the table. Everyone was presently staring at her.  
  
"I, er, my hand slipped," Sparrow said feebly to no one in particular.  
  
********  
  
"ni men ke yi qu chi ni de wu chan le, (you can all go and eat your lunch)" Sparrow's Chinese teacher magnanimously declared to the class, after keeping them back for ten minutes to perfect our "cheng yu"s.   
  
Sparrow stopped in mid tracks to the canteen when she realised that she forgot to take something. She dashed (yes she did, she didn't pass her NAFA test for nothing) up the stairs to the forth level, where the lofty secondary fours resided. She entered her classroom at a run and tripped over something.  
  
"Ohhh how darnable!" Sparrow exclaimed. She went sliding hard on her knees and hands.   
  
"Argh!" Sparrow muttered. She blinked, her classroom seemed brighter than usual.   
  
"Are you all right?" A voice asked her kindly.   
  
It was a boy's voice.   
  
A b-o-y.   
  
In her classroom.   
  
In her school.   
  
In her all girls' school.   
  
Unless someone went under a sex change operation, this boy so did not belong in her class.   
  
The boy helped her up to her feet. Now that Sparrow had taken in her surroundings, it was rather like, SHE so did not belong in this place. A tall lanky man with dark hair and eyes stood a few feet away. Behind him was a woman with brown hair and blue grey eyes. A couple of teenagers were standing on a corridor, holding some books and peered at her oddly. She was standing in the middle of a courtyard and there was some sort of design drawn on the ground.   
  
"Yucks, what's that smell?" Sparrow blurted.  
  
"Wakeflower, mixed with rosemary, garlic…" the tall, very tall man supplied.  
  
"Numair! I don't think she wants to know what it consists of. She must be wondering where in Mithros is she!" the blue grey-eyed woman said.  
  
"Numair?" Sparrow inquired, struck dumb. "Mithros?"  
  
"Hoo boy, what an intelligent girl," a boy in the corridor remarked. "She's like a parrot."  
  
"Stupid idiot," Sparrow said.  
  
"Ah, she is more intelligent than you think. At least she recognises what you are," another boy retorted.  
  
Numair spoke up. "I am Numair Salmalin. I am a mage and have just conducted an experiment on teleportation."  
  
"So I am a guinea pig?" Sparrow screeched.   
  
Numair looked pained. "Um, not exactly. I transported you from your world to Tortall. Here. The spell only lasts for about ah hour. After one hour, the spell will be over and you will be brought back into your world." Sparrow quickly started her stopwatch function on her watch.  
  
"No, no, no, no!" Sparrow yelled. "I want to eat my Cha guai diao! I have been dreaming of eating it throughout Chinese class."  
  
Suddenly, a plate of cha guai diao appeared in front of Sparrow. She caught the plate, startled. "What the?" Sparrow said.   
  
"You are a conjurer?" Numair inquired.   
  
"No, I am not. Magic doesn't exist in my world. I don't know how the heck I made that happen," Sparrow replied. "In fact, in my world, Tortall is a figment of someone's imagination."  
  
"Hmmm…" Numair muttered. "It must be a side effect of the spell…"  
  
"What do you mean Tortall is a figment of someone's imagination?" Daine asked curiously.  
  
"You see, in my world, all hail the almighty Tamora Pierce, wrote a few series about Tortall. One series, is about Alanna, one series is about you and the other series is about Keladry," Sparrow explained.  
  
"Could someone please do an intro of everyone?" Sparrow said.   
  
The boy who defended me grinned and introduced everyone. He was Neal. Oh laa laa. He is quite suai (cute). Cleon who had helped me up was not that bad either. Sparrow wondered, 'Oh geee, how can I so not guess?' when she found out that the idiot boy was Joren.  
  
"Keladry," Sparrow called. "How old are you?"  
  
"15 years old," Keladry replied, surprised.  
  
"It is just that I want to know which time I am in," Sparrow explained.   
  
"How do we know you are speaking the truth?" Joren demanded.  
  
"Well, dear Joren of Jerkiness, I clearly remember in the series that you smeared the corridor with oil, you urinated in front of her door, eeeewww, you trashed her room, you…" Sparrow said angrily, speaking out her speculation on the culprits of the pranks.  
  
"I believe you," Joren said quickly, turning a weird shade of red.  
  
"Oh no, please continue," Neal said. "Things are sounding interesting."  
  
"Well, I remembered that in the first book, when Keladry was a probationer page, you had a crush on Daine," Sparrow continued, thinking Neal needed some shaking up.  
  
"I believe you!" Neal yelped, becoming red, he looked everywhere but at Daine and Numair. Daine had a perplexed look on her face. Numair just stared at Neal admonishingly.   
  
"Numair," Sparrow called.   
  
"Yes?" Numair responded, breaking his stare from Neal.   
  
"Let me get straight. I have only one hour here before I go home," Sparrow said.  
  
"Yes," Numair replied.  
  
"And you owe me BIG time, right?" Sparrow said.  
  
"Um, yes, I guess," Numair answered.  
  
"So you can be my official tour guide," Sparrow ordered. Sparrow gave him the plate of cha guai diao. "Try it, it is really good."  
  
Sparrow walked over to the pages and squires. "All the pages and squires please line up in one line!" she yelled. Somehow, magically, they all appeared in one straight line. "Ooohh… Me like this power." Sparrow murmured.  
  
Vinson was first in line. Sparrow kicked him where it really hurt. "OUCH!" Vinson yelled before folding over.   
  
"You, Vinson, are the lowest being on this planet. You are one desperate idiot. Trying to rape a defenceless girl because no female would willingly come near you. I wish you were castrated!" Sparrow said. "You are a incorrigible jerk!" A chop appeared in her hand. She whacked his forehead with it. Now, his head was imprinted with large, red words, "RAPIST!"  
  
The others started giggling and Vinson scuttled off to find a mirror. "Do you think that is very funny?" Sparrow demanded. Vinson's scream pierced the air. All the boys fell silent in horror. Vinson had discovered that he no longer could have offspring in the usual manner.  
  
Sparrow kicked snickering Joren where it really hurt and stomped his foot. "You, Joren, idiot king, is a male chauvinist pig!" Sparrow exclaimed. Joren, before everybody's eyes, turned into a huge, brown, hairy pig with the words, "MALE CHAUVINST PIG" stamped on his back.  
  
The next boy she stepped up to cowered. Sparrow kicked him where it really hurt. Boy, was she getting good at that. "Well, well, Garvey," Sparrow said. "You are the highest jerk of all kind. To turn you into a pig is too kind. But I have the perfect idea on what to do to you. Thank you Ainet and Lady Megahanne. You will have pink hair and green sparkles!" Garvey's hair turned into a frightful shade of pink and green.   
  
"Not my beautiful hair!" Garvey wailed.  
  
"Wait, that's not all. You get the honour of being married to my A-Math teacher!" Sparrow declared.   
  
Miss Tang appeared and said, "You are not eating until you get your mathematical formulas correct."  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" Garvey screamed.  
  
Zahir quickly stepped out of Sparrow's kicking range. "Ha, like that would stop me. You, Zahir, since you think girls are so weak and should be in veils. Why don't you try it for yourself?" Zahir appeared as a girl in veil. "Oh my, you are quite a pretty little girl," Sparrow commented.  
  
"ARRGGHH!!" Zahir yelled and ran off to find out whether he really was a girl in ALL sense.  
  
"You, Quinden," Sparrow decreed. Quinden started to sweat. "Is a Male Chauvinist Pig like Joren!" Quinden turned into a pink pig, with the words, "MALE CHAUVINST PIG" stamped on his back.  
  
The pigs huddled together and quivered. "I am hungry," Sparrow remarked. "I feel like having some bacon."   
  
"Here piggy, piggy!" a man (who chased Kel's dog in the beginning of Page) yelled, holding a chopper. The pigs squealed in fright and vamoosed.   
  
"Neal, Neal, Neal," Sparrow said, patting his head. No easy task since he was towering over her by nearly a foot. Now she paused and said cryptically, "I wish you would just see what is under your nose."  
  
"Keladry, you go girl! You show what you are made of! I know the TP fans are rooting for you back home, or at least my RPG pple!" Sparrow exclaimed and she leaned closer and whispered, "You go get your man!" Keladry went red.  
  
Sparrow stepped up to Roald and patted his head. "You poor, poor, boy, going to get wed to a total stranger," she shook her head. "Don't you have any spine, any will to want the freedom to choose your mate? I mean, it gets lonely at the top. Being the future king, your freedom is already curtailed, don't you at least want to choose who you will be with for the rest of your life? Or are you just too brainwashed from your father?" A roll of newspaper appeared in Sparrow's hand and she whacked the future king on the head.  
  
"Oh wait, now I know what I should do," Sparrow exclaimed. "Group photograph! Everyone pose! Miss Tang, could you please help me take a few photographs before you continue to torment Garvey for the rest of his life?" Sparrow handed a camera that had magically appeared to Miss Tang.  
  
Everyone suddenly appeared together in different positions. "Look at the camera and shout Tortall!" Sparrow yelled.  
  
"Erm, what is a camera?" Esmond asked.  
  
"Well, um, just look at the black thing Miss , I mean, Mrs Garvey is holding!" Sparrow commanded.   
  
Everyone soon got into the spirit of things, making comical faces and different poses. After the "photo shoot", Sparrow conjured an autograph book and a pen. "Sorry, can all Kel's group people line up and sign my book please! Write it out to Sparrow!"  
  
Kel and co. suddenly appeared standing in one line to sign Sparrow's book. "Why do you want our autographs?" Kel asked, surprised.  
  
"So that my TP friends will go pea green with envy," Sparrow replied. When autographs were finished, Sparrow sent them back to their places.  
  
"Okay, the rest of Kel's group people, I want to say that you all are open minded and so nice. There is at least one person back in my world who wants to get hitched to you in TP RPGs world wide, especially Cleon and Faleron." Sparrow said, meeting all their gazes.   
  
"How about me?" Neal said plaintively.  
  
"Oh, we don't take other people's guys. We all decided to leave you to, er hum, someone," Sparrow said and discreetly winked at Keladry who blushed.  
  
"The rest of you people who dislike Kel or scorn her. Let me tell you this, this underestimation and disgust of women warriors will one day bring your downfall," Sparrow said and paused, letting her words sink in. "Or at least in my future fan fics when I feel sadistic."  
  
"Meanwhile," she said, with a sparkle in her eye. "Please meet Xena, warrior princess! And for those who think that women are wishy washy and Lord Wyldon is a tough training master. Please meet my Physical Education Teacher, Mrs Toh!"  
  
The mythical warrior princess appeared, all six feet of her, she threw her um, circle thing, which "pang", "ping", hit the walls, narrowly missing the boys' head. She charged at them. They scattered like the wind.  
  
Meanwhile, Mrs Toh, wearing her trademark cap and holding her clipboard and stopwatch, stood under the shade and yelled, "Run 10 laps!" The remaining boys broke into a run. "Faster!" She yelled. "My students can run faster than you all, and they are all girls!"  
  
"Are they going to be alright?" Daine asked worriedly.  
  
"Yup, wait till Mrs Toh unleashes her famous exercising circuit. Where she makes you carry medicine balls up and down the stairs, do push ups, jogging, etc… again and again. The most irritating thing is that she stands in the shade and yells at you to hurry up. Trust me, after two rounds of the circuits and her yelling for you to hurry up, you feel like strangling her. Xena, well, she is a good guy, she will rough them up, but won't kill them. Okay, I am done here. I want to go and see how Cloud and Peachblossom look like," Sparrow said.  
  
They went to the stables, trailed by a bemused Numair. "Woah," Sparrow said, looking at Peachblossom. He was big! Monster horse. Sparrow patted Cloud and admired the horse. She met Stefan and commented, "You are a good man, Stefan. Helping Alanna through her page years when she needed it. Can I have your autograph?"  
  
"Me? A stable hand?" Stefan responded, startled, blinking.   
  
"Yes, you have no idea how valuable your autograph will be," Sparrow said and gave him her autograph book.  
  
Sparrow looked at her watch, 16 minutes has passed. "Let's go look at Sir Myles and the king," Sparrow said.  
  
The trio met Sir Myles in front of the council chamber. "Sir Myles, you do not know who I am, but I think you are a good man. I am glad you have met Eleni and you are happy now," Sparrow said. "Can I have your autograph please?"  
  
"Erm, alright," Myles said, surprised, he signed the autograph book.  
  
"Now, onto the king!" Sparrow said cheerfully. "I am so going to tell him off, all those boys were just a warm up for this moment!" She added, with a wicked grin, "This is going to be fun, fun, fun…"  
  
"Oh, oh…" Daine said, looking at Numair who was grinning in response.   
  
********  
  
"I am sorry sir, the king is in council at the moment," the guard standing at the door of the council room said firmly.  
  
"Well, I think he will make an exception," Numair replied.   
  
"Oh enough jabbering. If I could conjure the squires and pages into one line, why can't I the king?" Sparrow interrupted. "King jerkiness appear!"  
  
"Lord Javis, you do not…" King Jonathon's voice trailed off as he realised that he had a change in location.  
  
It took Sparrow quite a bit to regain her voice. TP was right, King J did have that aura that commanded attention and he was good looking if not for that dratted beard.   
  
"Where am I?" King J spluttered, startled.  
  
"King Jonathon, the unpardonable jerk," Sparrow announced. She waved her hand and his beard disappeared. Daine gasped and Numair's shoulders began to shake suspiciously.  
  
"Numair, what is going on?" King J demanded.  
  
"You will know in due time," Sparrow said coldly. "I only have," she consulted her watch. "42 minutes left, please shut up, so I can say my piece."  
  
Surprisingly, King J did shut up. Prudent man.  
  
"I understand your motives for keeping Alanna away though you could have practiced more tact. You are a knight, are you not?" Sparrow said and continued without waiting for his reply. "You then, would understand something called chivalry. Chivalry, that calls for the lord and liege to be both loyal to each other. You, dear idiot, have betrayed the laws of chivalry, made a mockery of it, by treating Keladry unfairly when all she asked was for an equal chance. She expected no privileges, no allowances, yet you misused your power to slight her. By doing this, you are announcing that females do not deserve a fair chance like the rest. In fact, looking at you now, you are truly a male…"  
  
"Er hum," Numair interrupted in a rather desperate attempt of thwart Sparrow. Things would not fair well in Tortall if the present monarchy should be turned into a pig…  
  
  
*********  
  
Oh oh! What will happen next? Will Sparrow relent or will the king of Tortall be a pig with the words "MALE CHAUVINST PIG" stamped on the back? Or will she turn on Numair and turn HIM into a pig for interrupting? Which is a not too bad arrangement since Daine CAN talk to animals, you know =) Will this author just shut up and get in with the next part? Find out in Part 2!  



	2. Part 2

There was a bit of miscommunication btwn me and Wildofre, and I understand that the link to my story was not up at the time when I posted the URL. I apologise to all those who went and couldn't access the site. This is dedicated to them, as well as all who reviewed this fic. *grinz* This fic will turn out to be more thought-provoking than you think. Just wait and see.  
This part is especially dedicated to all anti-King Jonathon pple. =)  
  
*********  
  
Part 2  
  
Sparrow glared at Numair and said, "Okay, so not a 100% MCP, as after all, you did support Alanna. Sorry, got a bit carried away. However, I find you a selfish person. A parent that do not care for his children, his children's happiness. You happily arrange marriages in hope to strengthen alliances. You, yourself should know how lonely it is at the top. You had the fortune of parents who let you exercise your will, your right, to choose a mate. I don't think you love Thayet, who I think is rebound woman, you are just in lust with her. If you did, you would want your children to find the love that you have. After all, you have 5 children already, not one. Anyway, I think you don't love your children enough to let them seek what you do not have. Hello, there is virtually no such thing as divorce in this world. You are selfish in securing alliances that might not work by the way, when you persuaded Kalasim to give up her dream to be a knight. She can only live once and you refused her something, which you let her brothers have. In that act, you are a MCP or a stupid idiot." Sparrow rambled. "And I guess you do not understand what I am talking about, right?"  
  
Everyone just stared at her. I do not think that King J could comprehend what Sparrow was saying because it was either that he was unused to a tirade of such unflinching frankness or he was just too thick headed.  
  
Sparrow huffed. "Since you love arranged marriages so much, you can have a taste of it," Sparrow paused and said in a sing-song voice. "Imagine this, when your parents were alive, they decreed that they would love to strengthen an alliance. Thus, you were wed. To the worst princess wife anyone could ever think of. Meet your new, 'improved' wife!"  
  
Poof! A hideous woman appeared, her diameter and proportion could rival an elephant. "JONATHON!" She bellowed. "YOU PROMISED ME A TOWER BY SUMMER! WHERE IS IT?!"  
  
"Of course, dear kingy," Sparrow said. "Some kingdoms may have strange customs that calls for a king to have more than one wife."  
  
"Husband!" screeched a voice that sounded like nails scraping a black board.  
  
Everyone winced.  
  
"How many wives does he have?" Numair gaped in amazement.  
  
Sparrow pretended to cough and covered her mouth. She quickly said, "50." as a number of voices shrieked and yelled and called and whined for their "Jonny".  
  
"WHAT?!" King Jonathon yelped.  
  
"Now, now," Sparrow said, waving her hands. "It's not that bad. Thayet is one of them, to provide as contrast. I would now like to see Lindhall." Looking at Daine's and Numair's faces, she added, "He's nice, so don't worry."  
  
"This way my lady," Numair said extravagantly and bowed.  
  
"Horse Lords," Daine breathed at the sight of King J's wives.   
  
"Come on," Sparrow said and yanked Daine after Numair.  
  
Lindhall opened his door and was greeted by the sight of a teenager. "Please sign my autograph book please! Can I see Bonedancer?" Sparrow said in a rush and charged into the room.  
  
"Erm, alright," Lindhall replied, blinking. "Arr, I mean, Numair, what is…"  
  
"Just sign the book," Numair advised. "I will explain in due time.  
  
Bonedancer flew to Sparrow's outstretched arm. Whether by Sparrow's will or its own, she didn't care, she was too enthralled.  
  
"Bonedancer is simply incredible!" Sparrow exclaimed. "Better than the dinosaurs on BBC's 'Walking With Dinosaurs'! Oh wait. Picture, picture!"  
  
A camera appeared on a tripod stand and Numair, Daine, Lindhall, Sparrow and Bonesdancer were standing together.   
  
"Say Tortall!" Sparrow said happily.  
  
"Tortall!" they chorused helpfully.  
  
"Hmmm…" Sparrow mused thoughtfully.  
  
Numair got a tad worried by her silence. "Where would you like to go to now?"  
  
"I would really like to go and see your tower, Pirate's Swoop. However, the ride takes a week," Sparrow contemplated.  
  
"If you can conjure people from place to place, why not yourself?" Numair replied.  
  
"Oh ya hor," Sparrow responded, snapping her fingers. "Well then, er hum, let us be at Numair's Tower!"  
  
Numair, Daine and Sparrow appeared at the foot of Numair's Tower. Sparrow looked around.  
  
"Wow, less creepy than I thought," Sparrow mused aloud. "I always thought it might look like those vampire infested edifices."  
  
"Excuse me," Numair said in a very haughty voice.  
  
Daine laughed.  
  
Sparrow turned around slowly and said excitedly, "Let's go in!"  
  
"Welcome to my humble abode," Numair announced exaggeratedly.  
  
"Thank you my good man," Sparrow replied heartily. Daine just giggled.  
  
The tower was bigger than Sparrow expected. She had thought it would be a narrow thing, something like Balor's Needle. Hey, Sparrow has very little experiences in seeing medival structures. She lives in SEA, you know. (For the pple who do not know what SEA stands for, tsk tsk!)  
  
"Okay, thanx for the tour," Sparrow chirped happily. Happily, why? When they passed Numair's bedroom, (which was big by the way) she saw some of Daine's stuff inside and felt unusually hyper to discover that Daine resided with Numair in the tower at times. How did she know it was Daine's stuff? Well, the stuff were feminine and since Daine was the only female Numair was presently involved in, (and Daine didn't go wonky when she saw the stuff and bonk Numair on the head) it was safe to presume that the stuff belonged to Daine.   
  
Okay, okay, Sparrow, you deserve a pat on the head for such an excellent deduction. *Author pats Sparrow on head. Pat, pat, pat*  
  
The tour ended in the kitchen and the housekeeper bustled up to them. "Ah, visitors," the housekeeper said. "Have an apple, it is not good for a youngling to be so scrawny."   
  
Sparrow experienced a weird sense of deja vu. Sparrow inspected the housekeeper closely. "Pardon?" Sparrow asked politely.  
  
"I said, have an apple, it is not good for a youngling to be so scrawny," the housekeeper said pleasantly.  
  
Sparrow had a prickling sensation at the back of her neck. "Think Sparrow, why does that sound so familiar?" Sparrow muttered to herself. "AH HA!" Sparrow yelled.   
  
Everyone jumped and stared at her.  
  
"I remember you now, you were in my fic, but how can that be possible? I mean, it is a fan fiction, not by the, all hail the almighty Tamora Pierce!" Sparrow yelped. "Wait," Sparrow's mind scrambled to try and remember her fics. "Daine, do you know someone called Michean?"  
  
Daine looked surprised, "Why yes, he works at the kennels."  
  
"And you met a deer called Soft Streak and Bold and Coyolie," Sparrow went on.  
  
Daine nodded. "How did you…"  
  
"Know?" Sparrow shook her head. "You might not believe me, but back in my world. I wrote fan fiction and I introduced some new characters in. Like Michean, Regina, Jassia."  
  
Daine's eyebrow rose at the last two names, "I could do without the latter, you know."  
  
"Yes, I know," Sparrow said. "She is going to do something dastardly in my sequel fic that I have yet to write."  
  
"Dastardly? She…" Daine retorted.  
  
"No, shush, shush!" Sparrow commanded. "I haven't started to write the fic yet and I don't want to know what happens." Numair looked strangely uncomfortable. "Numair," Sparrow remarked, deliberately changing the subject. "Are you embarrassed that we are talking about your ex-paramour?"  
  
"When you put it that way, yes, naturally," A red-faced Numair muttered, then in a louder voice. "So you created the new characters out of your mind?"  
  
"Yes, I did. Do you know anybody by the name of Princess Roxy? Um… Clio? Erm, Sephti?" Sparrow said, her mind trying to recall the past fan fics she had read. "How about Pixie Light? Alleria?" Numair and Daine shook their heads. "How about Ryan? Bruna?"  
  
Sparrow scratched her head, "I can perhaps, understand in a weird sense that my characters could exist. However, I don't understand why only my characters are here."  
  
"No use wasting time to think about it," Daine advised. "Save it for later, you have little time left."  
  
Sparrow glanced at her watch, "By golly, you're right. I have only 27 minutes left. We have to figure out this mystery later. Now let us commence to Pirate's Swoop!"  
  
They were transported to the middle of a busy courtyard. The people gasped and gawked at their sudden entrance.   
  
"It's alright!" Numair boomed. "We are just dropping by!" The people apparently recognised Numair and were accustomed to his eccentricities as they continued their work as usual.  
  
"Numair! What are you doing here? I thought you were at Corus," a red hair woman said, walking towards them.   
  
"Where's your hospitality, love? Welcome, welcome!" a brown hair man followed close at her heels.  
  
"OH MY GOSH! IT'S ALANNA AND GEORGE!!!!" Sparrow screeched and started jumping.  
  
"Erm," Numair winced. "Who else were you expecting at Pirate's Swoop other than the Baron and Baroness?"  
  
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh," Sparrow said.   
  
Sorry Readers, Sparrow has seemed to be temporarily overwhelmed with excitement that has tampered with her speaking abilities and exaggerated her brain deficiencies. Let me amend that. *Author takes a rolled up newspaper and whacks Sparrow on head* Let's continue.  
  
"This is…" Numair introduced and paused. "Come to think of it, we never did get your name."  
  
"Sparrow, the name's Sparrow," Sparrow responded. In a burst of friendliness, she stuck out her hand, "Hi! I'm Sparrow, could you sign up autograph book please?"  
  
George gallantly kissed her hand instead of shaking it as Sparrow expected and remarked, "Pleasure to see a new face in these parts."   
  
Sparrow blushed and smiled, "Flatterer!"  
  
Alanna solemnly shook her hand. Sparrow received a good impression from the handshake. It was a firm handshake. Sparrow handed them the autograph book.  
  
Alanna looked at Numair in askance. "Just sign the book," Numair advised. "I'll explain later."  
  
"Hey, hey, where's Maude and Coram?" Sparrow asked. They magically appeared, albeit surprised, in the courtyard. "Yay! Group picture!"  
  
A camera on a tripod stand materialised in front of them. "Say Pirate's Swoop!" Sparrow yelled. Everyone complied obligingly.  
  
"What the-" Coram rumbled.  
  
"Ask later," Numair interrupted.  
  
"Autographs please!" Sparrow said, giving Maude and Coram the autograph book.  
  
"Can I have a tour please?" Sparrow asked enthusiastically.   
  
"Alright," George replied charmingly, "This way, my lady."  
  
The tour ended in the stables where Daine had temporarily resided in in Wild Magic. Sparrow admired the scenery. George had been very charming and nice. Alanna, once coaxed out of her shell, was very charismatic and nice as well.  
  
"I can't imagine living without the sea outside my window," Sparrow remarked. "I live near the sea as well. Just a stone's throw away, literally." She consulted her watch. "Four minutes left."  
  
"Here," Daine said, handing back the autograph book. Numair and Daine had just completed it.  
  
"My last lecture," Sparrow said. Alanna, George, Numair and Daine looked at her.   
  
"Oh, only concern Daine and Numair," Sparrow continued pointedly. George and Alanna looked away. "Forgive my frankness, but because I only have 60 minutes in Tortall. Hey, I want to say everything I want to say. I can sum up my frustration on you two in one sentence."  
  
Sparrow paused, "JUST GET MARRIED, DARN IT!"   
  
Everyone jumped.   
  
"Oh come on, come on, you love him, he loves you," Sparrow explained to Daine, pacing about. "What's the problem? For goodness sake, at least that is the only big problem you have! Can you just get hitched so you can procreate and TP can write about your progeny's adventures? You two are being silly donkeys! For goodness sake, I bet Kalasim's future husband might be older than her by more than Numair is older than you! The stupid thing is that both of you have the same fears. For goodness sake, if you just make the commitment, you can work things out! You are not the only one who married a much older guy. Look at George and Alanna!"  
  
Alanna and George jumped at their names. "I mean, George is older than Alanna by 7 years and plus, to boot, he is not so reputable, but Alanna didn't give a hoot. They managed to work it out! ARGH!" Sparrow said, waving her arms about.  
  
"You know, I am so tempted to ask if you have consummated your relationship. I am, though you two are sharing a room, it doesn't mean that you, well, you know. Wait!" Sparrow ranted before Numair could open his mouth. "Don't tell me as it would spoil the surprise. I am crazy, ain't I? I want to find out if you two, you know, but want to figure out by myself. It's like reading the back of the book before you read the book. You understand?"  
  
Everyone just stared at her and simultaneously shook their heads.  
  
"I didn't think so," Sparrow said. "The frustration just came bursting out, I guess." Sparrow glanced at her watch, "About two minutes left. Alanna."  
  
The Lioness looked at her. "I want to say, you have excellent taste in men and I think you made the right choice with George," Sparrow continued. "George, though you might underestimate your own appeal. Let me tell you that a lot of TP fans think you are a hottie. I remember one TP website had this poll on who was the sexist man in Tortall and you won. Yes, you did, over King Jonathon." Sparrow smiled as she recalled. "This person commented, 'George is the man, yeah baby, he's the man'." Alanna laughed.   
  
Sparrow looked at her watch. "Okay, one minute left. Let's give the basic message. Numair, Daine, for the love of god, GET MARRIED! Alanna and George, I wish you happiness and health! Camera with Tortallan negatives please appear!" The camera dropped on her lap.  
  
Sparrow hugged the autograph book and camera and waited. "10 seconds left!" Sparrow announced.  
  
They waited in silence. They were probably stunned into silence by her blunt and rapid speech. I sincerely doubt that anyone had the temerity to forcefully advise Numair and Daine on their relationship. Or told George he was a hottie. But then again, what could one expect from someone who had foisted 49 wives on King Jonathon, turned two boys into pigs, one into a girl, another into a potential eunuch and condemned a group of hapless boys to PE with Mrs Toh.  
  
Sparrow peeked at her watch and shook her wrist. "I should, by right, be back home by now."  
  
"Perhaps the spell is lightly delayed," Daine offered optimistically.  
  
"A possibility. After all, you did have unexpected side effects," Numair pondered, tugging his nose. "This spell is a bit new to me though. I hope I did not make any errors."  
  
"ERRORS?!" Sparrow screeched. "What do you mean errors? I have my O'levels coming up and I need the time to prepare!"  
  
"I think it best we wait," George advised.  
  
"Where's my cha gui diao?" Sparrow asked Numair.  
  
Numair looked puzzled, "I'm not too sure where I put it."  
  
"What a waste of food!" Sparrow admonished, wagging a finger at him. A plate of cha gui diao appeared on her lap and she started to eat.  
  
She polished off the plate and they waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
I shall not continue to repeat myself again, thank you very much. I think you readers can get the general idea.  
  
Finally, Sparrow spoke up, breaking the silence, "Since no one is going to say it, I think I'm stuck here!"  
  
  
**********  
  
Oh no! Is Sparrow truly and duly stuck in Tortall? What will happen to her O'levels? (Like you readers would care) Will King J behead her for her enthusiastic make-matching activities? Will Daine and Numair EVER get married? Find out in Part 3, except for the last question, as *Author sings albeit a bit off-key* "The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind, the answer, is blowing in the wind…."  



	3. Part 3

I would like to dedicate this part to the wonderful people who have encouraged and advised me in this fic - Alleria, Cheryl, Luna and Tara (alphabetical order)  
  
I sincerely apologise for taking so long to put the whole fic up! My computer decided to go on strike, so I was left computerless for quite some time! So this part is also dedicated to those who have followed my fics! Thanx!  
  
******  
  
Part 3  
  
"But I don't understand!" Numair said, and got up to pace. "I was very specific in my instructions pertaining to your duration here in case a dangerous being was brought."  
  
"Thanks," Sparrow responded sarcastically.  
  
"Oh," Numair paused. "I didn't mean, what I meant was, in case the being from the other world was lethal or …"  
  
"I would strongly advise you shut, while you are ahead," Alanna advised.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Sparrow wailed. "I am stuck in Tortall, ordinarily, I would be thrilled. But I insulted almost all the main characters!"  
  
"Now, now," Alanna comforted, alarmed that Sparrow might cry. "It is not that bad."  
  
"Not that bad? I insulted King Jerkiness to the high heavens and he now has 50 wives," Sparrow responded despondently. "I won't be surprised if he tries to strangle me with his bare hands."  
  
"How, erm, interesting," Alanna said, the corner of her mouths twitched suspiciously.  
  
"Not funny," Sparrow responded grumpily.  
  
"I think it best you make yourself comfortable here while you are waiting," George prudently suggested. "If I am not wrong, the dinner bell just rang. We should be able to think clearer with a full stomach."  
  
The others saw the logic of his words and followed him to the dining hall. Sparrow ate little, using the excuse of having eaten the cha gui diao.  
  
When the dishes were being cleared, George announced, "Let's go to my study. We'll be more comfy there."  
  
Sparrow sighed. "Listen," George said, dropping back to talk to her. "As long as you are here, you are free to stay here as long as you want."  
  
"Even though I may be a future fugitive for insulting the king and remarking on his inadequacies as a parent and spouse?" Sparrow responded.  
  
"Yes, even if you become a fugitive," George replied. "If he needed telling off, he deserved it."  
  
Sparrow looked at him in surprise. "Aren't you being sort of treasonous?"  
  
"No, not many people dare to tell him when he is making a mistake, except Alanna. But Alanna has been away from the palace for quite some time, so his head may have grown very big by the time she can go back to tell him off," George supplied.  
  
"Aaaahhh…" Sparrow said, brightening up, "I knew I liked you for a reason!"  
  
Alanna laughed, "I just hope that he can fit his head through the door."  
  
They settled in the study, Numair was pacing, Daine, Alanna and George sitting on comfortable chairs, Sparrow sitting on the table. Hey, I didn't claim that she had good social graces!  
  
Sparrow, Numair and Daine recounted the day's incidents to Alanna and George.  
  
"You really shouldn't laugh, you know," Sparrow said huffily.  
  
Alanna just laughed harder.  
  
"A pig," George grinned. "How original."  
  
"At least I didn't turn him into a apple tree," Sparrow remarked pointedly. "And there is no pig that turned into a man walking about. You know," Sparrow turned to look at Numair.  
  
"Back in my world, the TP fans often debate and ponder on what is now called, 'The Tree Issue'. On what happened to the tree that turned into a man. And what happens if you turn a tree into a man, does the tree that turned into a man earlier turn back into a tree?" Sparrow rambled.  
  
"Well, the issue is very complicated," Numair explained. "Many academics-"  
  
"Let's get back to the issue on hand," Daine reminded patiently.  
  
"Right," Numair responded. He took a piece of parchment paper and pen thingy from a stand. He sat down and the others pulled their chairs closer. Sparrow compromised by scooting to the side of the table to let the others have a clear view.  
  
"Now, we have several matters to think about. Firstly, why Sparrow?" Numair said.  
  
"Well, it's my pseudonym, actually. I got the name from the name of my patrol in Girl Guides-" Sparrow responded.  
  
"I mean," Numair interrupted. "Why you? Why were you picked by my magic to come here? Why not your fellow students? Or teachers?"  
  
"Good question," Alanna remarked. "There must be a reason on why Sparrow was chosen and why she is presently stuck here."  
  
Sparrow winced. "Please don't say 'stuck here', say 'temporarily detained'."  
  
"You sound like Numair," Daine commented.  
  
"I don't know if I should be insulted or complimented," Sparrow remarked.  
  
"Likewise," Numair retorted and rapped the table with his knuckles, "Can we please focus our attention here?"  
  
"You know, what you say is true," Sparrow contemplated, ignoring Numair. "About why me. Why not Ginny? She is the one who introduced me to Tamora Pierce. She knows about Tortall much more than I. She owns all the Tortallan books. Me, all I have is the Immortals Series. How I wish she was sitting next to me now!"  
  
WHAM! Something or someone landed heavily on the table next to Sparrow.  
  
"O-u-c-h!" the person yelped.  
  
"Ginny!" Sparrow exclaimed happily and hugged her friend.  
  
"Erm, hi, er, why am I here?" Ginny asked, rubbing her posterior. "I was about to step into the toilet cubicle and I landed here."  
  
Sparrow quickly explained the situation to Ginny.  
  
"Ah ha!" Ginny exclaimed. "I know why this is happening!"  
  
Everyone looked at her.  
  
"I must have slipped in the toilet and banged my head against the toilet bowl. I was knocked unconscious and am presently having a coma. This is why I am in Tortall and things are so crazy," Ginny supplied.  
  
Sparrow sighed and whacked Ginny with a rolled up newspaper.  
  
"OUCH!" Ginny yelped. "Have pity on a comatose person!"  
  
"Ginny, if you are in a coma, I am the queen of Arabia!" Sparrow declared.  
  
"Well, I never met your parents before you know," Ginny replied and ducked a mock blow from Sparrow. "By the way. I need to go to the toilet."  
  
"I thought you were supposed to be in a coma? Why don't you wait till you wake up then you can go to toilet?" Sparrow responded sweetly.  
  
"Sparrow!" Ginny scolded. "You are so mean, not like Lynn. That reminds me. She is waiting for me outside the toilet."  
  
"That means she will find you soon, doesn't it?" Sparrow replied.  
  
"OMPH!" Someone went. Someone landed on Numair's lap. Numair blinked.  
  
"What the?" the person went.  
  
"Lynn!" Sparrow shrieked happily and hugged her.   
  
"Where am I?" Lynn asked dazedly.  
  
Sparrow sighed, "You know, I wish I had a tape recording of what I just said to Ginny so that I wouldn't have to repeat myself."  
  
A tape player materialised in Sparrow's lap and she played it.  
  
"But I have my Chinese O'level Orals after school tomorrow!" Lynn shrieked. "I cannot miss that! How can you just wish me here?"  
  
"Lynn, calm down," Sparrow soothed. "And get off Numair's lap. You must be getting heavy for him. Besides, he looks kinda shocked."  
  
"Oops!" Lynn said, going red, "Sorry!" She got off his lap and onto the table next to Sparrow.  
  
"Hey, be happy you got some cushion to land on!" Ginny exclaimed. "I landed on this table and my ass hurts!"  
  
"Ass?" Daine asked curiously. "I don't see any ass."  
  
The trio from our world looked at her weirdly.  
  
"She means the traditional meaning of ass," Sparrow explained.  
  
"Ohhh…" Lynn and Ginny chorused in enlightenment.  
  
"Wait," Sparrow said. "If I can bring them across the realms to here, why can't I just wish us back?"  
  
"Good idea," Alanna said.   
  
"It's worth a try," George replied.  
  
"Okay, here it goes," Sparrow said. "I wish that Lynn, Ginny and I are back in our original position, time and place!"  
  
A shimmering light covered the three of them. Then, it cleared.  
  
"Nothing happened," Lynn said, disappointed.  
  
"Pretty lights!" Ginny quipped.  
  
"Try again," Daine suggested.  
  
Sparrow did. Again and again.  
  
"Stop it," Alanna commanded. "I am not going to wait for hours again for something that is not going to happen."  
  
"The magic looks like Numair's," Ginny remarked. "Black and sparkly. I remembered a description of his magic in Wild Magic."  
  
"Something just struck me," Sparrow said.  
  
Everyone looked at her.  
  
"Ginny, Lynn," Sparrow continued. "Do you have the same 'side effects' as I do?"  
  
"Well, erm, let me try," Ginny responded. "Toilet, appear!"  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Perhaps you should be less ambitious and start with something small," George tactfully suggested.  
  
"Erm, I wish for a bowl of mee swa soup!" Ginny commanded.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Lynn, you try," Sparrow suggested.  
  
"Cai dao gui?" Lynn said.  
  
"Lynn, be more assertive!" Ginny responded.  
  
"CAI DAO GUI!" Lynn yelled.  
  
"I said, more assertive, not louder," Ginny winced.  
  
"I wish for cai dao gui," Lynn said in a smaller voice.  
  
"Better," Ginny said.  
  
"I think we can safely conclude that neither of them have the side effects you have because they were not brought here by my spell," Numair spoke up. "Now, let's continue, before we were interrupted."  
  
"Hey!" Lynn protested.  
  
"Wait!" Ginny protested.   
  
"Wait?" Sparrow responded looking at Ginny.  
  
"Yes, I said wait. I so incredibly, really, really, need to go to the toilet!" Ginny wailed.  
  
"I'll bring her there," George volunteered. "Besides, you are talking gifted and I don't have much of it."  
  
"But I don't have ANY of it," Daine spoke up. "I think I should bring her to the toilet. She would be less embarrassed."  
  
"Hello! She is here and listening!" Ginny interrupted. "Toilet. Pleassseeeee!!" Daine went off with Ginny.  
  
"Now," Numair said. "One question that comes to mind is the side effect you are experiencing."  
  
"Side effect?" Sparrow inquired. "You make me sound like I got rabies!"  
  
"Your ability to conjure things," Numair gestured. "To transport, teleport things."  
  
"Actually," Alanna said. "To be more specific, what you say, or think, came true."  
  
"Creepy," Sparrow remarked.  
  
"Numair," George interrupted. "Could you tell us what the gist of the spell you cast?"  
  
"Well," Numair replied and put down the pen thingy. "I was experimenting with summoning spells. One that spanned across the metaphysical planes and-"  
  
Sparrow kicked Numair and explained apologetically, "Trying to put him on track."  
  
Numair glared at Sparrow and continued, "Basically, I did a summoning spell. For my first spell, I decided that I should summon a useful being. I summoned for someone who will help Tortall's future to come to make an impact for an hour," Numair paused.   
  
"If that person is supposed to help Tortall, how come you only slated an hour for him or her or it to make an impact? Isn't that kind of short?" Lynn asked curiously.  
  
"Well," Numair answered. "I realised that the being, in this case, Sparrow, might not be too happy to be whisked into a strange world. I had a feeling if I didn't tell her I stated one hour, she might be mighty displeased." The others nodded.  
  
"Hey!" Sparrow protested.  
  
"Besides," Alanna added, looking at Sparrow and raised her eyebrow. "I think one hour was more than enough for her to make her impact. A deep one."  
  
Sparrow blushed.  
  
"Still, how is she supposed to help Tortall in just an hour?" Lynn mused.  
  
"To you, she may not have helped," Alanna replied and winked at Sparrow. "But I think she did a service to Tortall a service by getting rid of those pesky squires."  
  
"But still-" Numair responded, frowning.  
  
"You know, I am rethinking my poll option," Ginny interrupted, strolling into the room with a grinning Daine trailing at her heels.  
  
"Poll option?" Lynn inquired.  
  
"Yup, I remembered a few months back, this website had a poll on what Tortall needed most. I should have voted the option, 'plumbing, the whole shebang!' instead of 'refrigerator'. Luckily Daine was there to advise too-high-tech me in using the, what you may laughingly call, toilet facilities. There's no such thing as a toilet bowl here." Ginny grumbled.  
  
"I voted for that option," Sparrow mused.  
  
"Is this the same website that had the poll on who is the sexiest man in Tortall?" George asked.  
  
"Why yes," Ginny answered, surprised. "How do you know?"  
  
"Let's get back to business," Numair broke in and quickly updated the two.  
  
"Hey," Sparrow said in a ponderous tone. "Maybe I am kept back because I have not helped Tortall yet. In a big way or something. Wouldn't that be logical? Plus, perhaps I am supposed to use my side effect to help Tortall."   
  
"True," Numair responded.   
  
"Hey," Lynn remarked. "Perhaps why we can't go back is because Sparrow has not helped Tortall yet and Numair's spell is stopping us from returning."  
  
"Didn't I just say that?" Sparrow said.  
  
"Yes, but I say it so much better than you do," Lynn sniffed.  
  
"Possible," Alanna broke in. "But how is Sparrow going to find out what she is supposed to do?"   
  
"Yeah, what baddie are you supposed to face," Ginny said. "I hope it is not going to be a Roger incarnate."  
  
"Yah," Lynn responded. "Lots of fic writers love to include him in their fics." They both looked at Sparrow.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me!" Sparrow yelped. "I am a happy ending person. I don't reincarnate Roger in my fics." "Besides," Sparrow sniffed. "I try to keep to the text as close as possible. My fics are all based on quotes."  
  
"Anyway, I have a feeling that we will find out soon enough," Numair said grimly.  
  
"Choi ah!" Ginny exclaimed.   
  
"Choi ah!" Sparrow yelped.  
  
"Choi ah!" Lynn said.  
  
"Touch wood!" They chorused together and simultaneously rapped the wooden table.  
  
******  
  
"My lord, ladies, there is an urgent message for you from the king," the messenger panted.  
  
"Oh well," Ginny remarked. "At least we had breakfast."   
  
They were all seated at the breakfast table like proper ladies and gents. The children had joined them. Before the herald made his dramatic appearance which consisted of the latter bursting through the doors and throwing himself at their feet, ("Stupid fellow", Lynn had commented to Sparrow. "The floor is made of solid STONE. He is going to hobble for a good period of time.") Lynn and Thom were enjoying a lively discussion on the history of Tortall. Sparrow was trying to scrutinise Numair and Daine discreetly. To see if they showed any sign of intimacy. To Sparrow's joy, they acted with easy familiarity (Like putting food on each other's plate. Numair particularly. "He looks like he is treating Daine like a turkey that needs to be fatten before Christmas dinner," Ginny had whispered to Sparrow. ) and just outside the dinning hall, she spied Numair brushing his fingers over Daine's cheek. Ginny was trying to discuss with Alanna and George the concept of plumbing and "the whole shebang".  
  
"It was much sooner than I expected," Lynn said grumpily. She was not a morning person.  
  
"Hey, hey," Sparrow interrupted. "No time to quarrel, the messenger looks like he wants to kill us for interrupting him in his dramatic role."  
  
Everyone looked like the messenger. He did look like he wanted to strangle someone.   
  
"Well," Lynn replied. "He's looking at you with a killer look, not at us."  
  
"I think he likes you," Ginny commented.   
  
Lynn said, "But I think he looks like he is in pain rather than love struck. I think he fell on his knees too hard."  
  
"Shush!" Alanna exclaimed and flapped her hands at them. "Well sir, what is your message?"  
  
"I being grave news," he said, his face red. He cleared his throat and seemed to gather himself before he launched into his act. "Chaos, chaos everywhere!" the messenger exclaimed dramatically, pressing his hands to his chest. "Oh, the horror!"  
  
"Could you just cut the crap and get to the message?" Sparrow asked curtly.  
  
"Sparrow, it is not often that the messenger can have the attention of so many important people at one time you know," Ginny said. "Let him wallow in his theatrics, he deserves it. I doubt that he didn't have much exciting news to bring by for a long time since the Immortal Wars."  
  
"No," the messenger spoke up, startled. "I didn't work as a herald during the Immortal Wars. I was one of the guardsman."  
  
"Why did you quit?" Lynn asked curiously.  
  
"COULD WE JUST HEAR THE MESSAGE?!" Sparrow screeched.  
  
"Message?" Ginny replied. "Oh yeah, message."  
  
"Message," Lynn chorused, nodding her head.  
  
"Message?" Ginny and Lynn inquired the herald.  
  
"A mage has gone berserk with his gift. Creating a lot of chaos in the palace. Nobody dares to take him on, too powerful. Besides, he is a friend to some in the palace. Everyone was surprised. Nobody was prepared for his betrayal. He seemed so tranquil, so contented-" the herald supplied. Lynn noticed that he discreetly shifted his knees uncomfortably.  
  
"Who is he?" Sparrow interrupted.  
  
"Sparrow, you are so rude," Lynn scolded gently.  
  
"He's Michean," the herald said. "I was shocked when I heard the news. He was such a nice chap. Works at the kennels with his sisters."  
  
"MICHEAN?" Daine and Sparrow yelped in shock.  
  
The herald nodded.  
  
"IMPOSSIBLE!" Sparrow roared. "It is not in his character to do that. I didn't have much time to explore or develop his character. He is a rather flat character, 2D, he had 'good and nice' stamped all over him. How could he create such a destruction?"  
  
"It shows that you don't know people as well as you thought," the herald quipped.  
  
"KNOW HIM? I CREATED HIM!" Sparrow yelled, she got up and paced around the table. "I tell you, he is 'good guy' all over. It is too OOC (Out Of Character) for him to get worked up like that."  
  
"OOC?" Lynn questioned. "If you didn't notice, Daine, Numair, Alanna and George are a bit OOC as well."  
  
"Yeah, but Michean does NOT have the gift!" Sparrow exclaimed.  
  
"Wait," Ginny said. "If Michean is OOC and suddenly has a gift. Doesn't that mean that someone else with Sparrow's wishing power is here? Perhaps the person who coerced Michean is the baddie Sparrow is supposed to face." The Tortallans looked a tad puzzled by ongoing discussion.  
  
Daine raised her hand, "Could someone explain what you are talking about?"  
  
"I wish that Daine, Numair, Alanna and George would have sudden comprehension of the discussion," Sparrow announced.  
  
"Ohhhh…." The Tortallans went in enlightenment.  
  
"Sparrow," Lynn said suddenly. "Has it ever occurred to you where we are?"  
  
"Oh geez," Sparrow replied, smacking her forehead, then, ticking off her fingers. "Daine, Numair, Alanna, George. Oh my. I wonder where we are."  
  
"Tortall," Ginny said patiently.  
  
"No, no," Lynn responded, waving her hands. "Which Tortall?"  
  
"Which Tortall?" Ginny replied. "Tortall, Tortall?"  
  
Lynn smacked her hand against her forehead and sighed. "I mean, you would agree that in our world, Tortall is a figment of someone's imagination, right?"  
  
"Yes…" the Tortallans, Ginny and Sparrow chorused together, looking at Lynn as if she was a chicken with a turkey head.  
  
"Okay, would you agree, Ginny and Sparrow, you reading so many fan fictions, that there are many versions of Tortall?" Lynn supplied patiently.  
  
"But-" Ginny said.  
  
"Look," Lynn interrupted. "People in our world have different perception of how Tortall is like, right? I mean, in Sorceress's fics, the Tortall becomes dust. In Megahanne's fics, Tortall is inflicted with Pixie Light. Do you get my meaning?"  
  
"Yes…" everyone chorused obligingly.  
  
"Ohh…" Sparrow murmured. "I get it."  
  
"Finally!" Lynn exclaimed.  
  
Ginny raised her hand, "For the sake of those who are still ignorant, HUH?"  
  
"Well," Sparrow explained. "You agree that there are many imaginary Tortalls in our world, right? Well, what makes you assume that we landed in TAMORA PIERCE'S Tortall?"  
  
"But, isn't it infringing copyrights?" Ginny asked. "I mean, she is, all hail the mighty Tamora Pierce, is the ORIGINAL creator of Tortall, you know."  
  
"Yes, but you have characters that Tamora Pierce never mentioned before. Like Michean, Jassia. TP would sure have mentioned them before IF they existed in her stories," Sparrow supplied.  
  
"But, everything is so in tune with the series," Ginny protested.  
  
"Ginny, Ginny, Ginny," Sparrow said. "I try very hard to write in text. In fact, all my fics are based on quotes, and I try not to stray too far from the original plot. I try not to have something too earth shaking to have the original plot affected."  
  
"What are you implying, Sparrow?" Daine asked.  
  
"We are in MY version of Tortall," Sparrow answered grimly.  
  
"Your version of Tortall?" Alanna repeated in a choked voice.  
  
"Yes," Sparrow answered seriously. "It explains stuff, doesn't it? Why only MY characters appear in here. Why I was chosen."   
  
"Why you were chosen?" Daine inquired.  
  
Sparrow tilted her head, "Yes, why I was chosen. I created this VERSION of this world. Of course, disclaimer: Tortall and its characters belong to Tamora Pierce. As the creator of this version, I would be able to know the world very well."  
  
"Disclaimer? Why do you speak of a disclaimer?" George asked.  
  
"So I don't get sued by the pple who read this," Sparrow responded.  
  
"People who read this?" George said.  
  
"Yes," Sparrow responded and cleared her throat. "This world is shaped by my fics' version of Tortall, right? So that means, this event is definitely going to become a fic in order to shape 'my' Tortall."  
  
Alanna shook her head, "You are being very complicated."  
  
"Never mind," Ginny said. "I hardly understand her at times."  
  
"ER HUM!" the herald cleared his throat.   
  
Everyone looked at him.  
  
"Michean? Chaos? Corus?" the messenger hinted helpfully.  
  
"By all means," Sparrow said. "Let us go."  
  
"Wait," Ginny interrupted. "Please think about the possible baddies that you might be facing."  
  
"What do you mean?" Sparrow questioned. "Can't it wait later?"  
  
"Sparrow, please remember your guide motto. Be prepared?" Lynn said.   
  
Everyone paused in their movements and looked at Ginny. "Well, if YOU were required in Tortall to help it, you, the author of it. What is the baddies that ONLY an author can deal with?"  
  
Sparrow raised an eyebrow.  
  
"If there was some sort of vampire or demon," Ginny continued. "The spell would have brought Buffy, or the Charmed ones. But the spell, didn't. The spell brought YOU. What is the possible enemy that ONLY a fic author can deal with?"  
  
*******  
  
What can that enemy be? Another Roger incarnate? Ozone incarnate? Will the trio ever get back to their world to take their O' levels? (Though not main issue of concern to readers here) Will Sparrow save the day and get back Michean back to normal? Will we finally see a Michean-Numair standoff over Daine? =) Find out and more in the last and final instalment - Part 4!  
  



	4. Part 4

I would like to dedicate this part to all writers who have been flamed before. As well as to Lady Ainet and her webpage, the first home for my despondent fics! Yes, *looks ponderous* it does seem that you have *looks surprised* corrupted me somewhat with hyperness!  
  
******  
  
Part 4  
  
"I know," Sparrow said, after a while. "A possible enemy a fic writer would have."  
  
"What?" Lynn asked. "Writer's block?"  
  
"Writer's block?" Ginny yelped. "How anti-climatic. You mean a Writer's Block made Michean stark raving mad?"  
  
"Sparrow," George said gently. "What is it?" There was a gleam in Sparrow's eye and she was unnaturally silent.  
  
"A flamer," Sparrow replied simply. "Someone who flamed their fics. Hate their fics. Isn't that a fic writer's biggest enemy?" Sparrow added after a while, "After Writer's block, of course."  
  
"ER HUM!" the messenger coughed.  
  
Everyone looked at him.  
  
"Calamity? Disaster? Ain't anyone remember?" the herald reminded impatiently.  
  
"Right," Sparrow replied. "Let us be at the royal palace in Corus!"  
  
*******  
  
There was smoke and debris everywhere. The group coughed quite a bit before Numair drew a spell to disperse the smoke.  
  
"Oh my gosh," Lynn yelped, examining the mess. "Its even messier than my room!"  
  
"It's like Doctor Jackell and Mr Hyde!" Ginny exclaimed.   
  
"I have to go after him," Sparrow said grimly. "Numair, Alanna, Daine, George, Ginny, Lynn-"  
  
"Why didn't you just say 'everybody'?" Lynn asked.  
  
"Okay, e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y," Sparrow responded. "Don't come after me. I am going to deal with Michean and I don't want to be distracted."  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"Well," Sparrow said and took in a breath. "How am I going to find Michean?"  
  
"Why don't you just follow the trail of destruction?" George suggested.  
  
"Oh yah hor," Sparrow replied. "Bye bye for now!"  
  
The trail was easy to follow enough. Sparrow came to Michean who was blasting his magic at a house.  
  
"STOP!" Sparrow yelled.  
  
Surprisingly, Michean did stop.  
  
"Michean, you are a healer at the kennels with two sisters. You DON'T have the gift and you are going to return to normal and get your butt back to the kennels this instant!" Sparrow commanded. Michean disappeared. Sparrow was about to go off to check whether Michean DID end up at the kennels when someone stepped out of the shadows.  
  
"Finally, Sparrow, we meet," the stranger rasped. He or she or it, was wearing a black, heavy cloak that cover it/him/her (take your pick) from head to foot and the hood covered his/her/its face.  
  
"Well, yeah," Sparrow replied, turning towards the person. "Hello Rouge La Bu!"  
  
"You know me," Rouge said, surprised.  
  
Sparrow snorted. "You were the only one who had flamed me and how the heck did you get into my fics?"  
  
"Simple," Rouge replied, laughing like a hyena.  
  
"Sorry," Sparrow responded. "I don't find what's so funny."  
  
Rouge smiled at her. Or at least Sparrow sensed Rouge smile. Sparrow sniffed, "And why the heck are you so dressed up? I am sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't watch Scream nor its sequels, so if you are trying to terrify me by making me think you are a Scream killer, you are doomed to disappointment. And isn't it HOT under there?"  
  
Rouge sneered, "I simply wish to keep my anonymity. And YES it's damn hot in here, but they didn't have anything better here."  
  
"Why didn't you try dressing up as batman or something. Maybe superman. You can show off your legs," Sparrow taunted.  
  
"Enough talk," Rouge said curtly. "And appreciate my ingenious mind! I managed to get into your world by writing myself into it."  
  
"Oh yah hor," Sparrow murmured. "Wait!" Sparrow exclaimed, holding up her hand. "You said that my fics were-"  
  
"ARE!" Rouge sniped.  
  
"A RIP-OFF," Sparrow continued, ignoring Rouge. "And YOU wrote a Lost-in-Sparrow's-Tortall based on MY fics? Isn't that very ironical and rather hypocritical? Why don't you just go and create your OWN version!!" Sparrow was seriously getting pissed.  
  
Rouge stamped his/her/its foot.  
  
Sorry for the brief interruption. I am tired of typing his/her/its. *Wave hands to get rid of cramps* So, for the sake of convenience, let's say its, from now on, alright?   
  
It huffed, "I did it only to get my revenge!"  
  
"REVENGE?" Sparrow yelped. "What did I do to you?"  
  
"Sorry," Rouge responded, embarrassed. "I mean AVENGE."  
  
"Avenge who?" Sparrow asked. "And I think you are watching too many soap operas by the way!"  
  
"Avenge the other fic writers. Those who did not rip off pple," Rouge declared.  
  
"Fine," Sparrow replied. "Why don't you do humanity a favour and avenge yourself for everyone for ripping off MY fic?"   
  
"Don't delude yourself," Rouge said grimly.  
  
"The irony! The irony!" Sparrow exclaimed, looking at the skies and throwing up her hands, as if petitioning to the gods.  
  
Perhaps she was. Rouge was proving itself to be an intolerable identity.  
  
"Enough talk!" Rouge declared and swept its cloak dramatically.  
  
"I agree," Sparrow retorted, gritting her teeth.  
  
"I wish the ground would open up and swallow Sparrow!" Rouge commanded.  
  
The ground split open when a huge dragon suddenly appeared and swept Sparrow out of harm's way.  
  
"Hey!" Rouge said. "No fair! You can operate without speaking!"  
  
"Well," Sparrow sniffed. "All's fair in love or war!"  
  
An enormous vine jerked out of the ground and entwined itself around Rouge. "I wish for the vine to dehydrate till nothingness!" Rouge commanded. The twine turned brown and disintegrated.  
  
Sparrow counterattacked by getting a ring of fire to sweep around Rouge. Rouge put the fire out with a blizzard. The snow temporarily blinded Sparrow and Rouge took advantage by throwing a bolt of lightning. Sparrow rolled away in time, but was thrown back, stunned. Rouge took advantage by covering Sparrow in ice.  
  
"Argh," Sparrow winced. It was COLD! Now she too, wished for a Scream cloak. "I wish I had Cyclops' eyes!" Sparrow whispered.  
  
ZANG! Red, hot laser beams shot out of her eyes. She blasted her way out of the ice. She squinted her eyes. Rouge overdid the blizzard part. The ground was covered with snow up to her knee. She couldn't see. In a way, it was good as it meant that Rouge couldn't see too.  
  
"Come here prettie birdie," Rouge crooned. Sparrow cringed and moved cautiously away from where she had been frozen.  
  
"Oh Sparrow," Sparrow said to herself. "Think, think, think! This is the WORST time to get a writer's block! Um. I wish that I could see perfectly thru anything." Rouge La Bu was coming!  
  
Sparrow huddled behind a cart (?) or snow covered thing that looked like a cart and peered at Rouge. Rouge had made its way toward the ice. Sparrow blinked. "Oh no," she groaned softly. "I overdid the see thru anything. I can see that Rouge is so NOT wearing underwear! I wish to undo my last wish. I wish I can see perfectly no matter the conditions."  
  
Rouge La Bu was now examining the ice. An idea struck Sparrow, "Runaway train come and knock Rouge La Bu!"  
  
WHAM! Hoot hoot! A train suddenly crashed against Rouge La Bu, sending it flying. "No one can survive a knock like that," Sparrow murmured. "I wish the weather turned back to normal."  
  
The blizzard ceased and the sun came out to play prettily among the clouds. Sparrow whistled at the sight of destruction. Unbeknownst to her, Rouge La Bu, thought to be dead, had gotten up, brushed itself off and was now stalking towards Sparrow.  
  
"I think I should check if Rougey is really deadie," Sparrow finally said.  
  
Rouge La Bu, behind Sparrow, materialised a dagger and was about to stab Sparrow when Sparrow said, "I wish for strong winds to clear out all the unsightly things here!"  
  
Rouge La Bu was swept away by the winds, it snarled, "I command the wind to stop!"  
  
Nothing happened and it just got carried further away. It muttered something, a group of stormwings appeared and grabbed it. They put it on the ground.  
  
"I thought you were dead!" Sparrow exclaimed.  
  
Rouge smiled evilly. Sparrow could see the flash of its grin. "The illusions of grandeur!" It shook its head and explained in a condescending voice, "I can't die as I haven't written myself out of the fic yet. No use hitting me with trains, or pianos. You would just make your version of Tortall into a cheesy cartoon."   
  
It sneered, "I am a god here! No, more than a god! I can virtually do anything I want, raise mountains, part seas, destroy and create! I am immortal! Nothing can kill me! I am invincible! I am more powerful than the most powerful gods here! I wield more power than Mother Flame and Father whateverhisnameis. And NOBODY can stop me!"  
  
He raised his arms, "Chaos, I release you from your prison!"  
  
The air in front of him shimmered and opened to show a circle of moving colours. Sparrow got a headache from looking at it.   
  
Well, I think that is supposed to be your cue to laugh evilly," Sparrow replied, hiding her surprise. "The other gods and goddess, hello! I can't do all the work here! Get your butts down here and deal with Chaos!" Surprised and shocked gods and goddess appeared surrounding the portal.  
  
"What the-" Shakith went.  
  
"The insolence of this mortal!" Mithros roared.  
  
A black cat with purple eyes jumped from the mother goddess arms onto Mithros' shoulder. It meowed, "Enough foolishness! Chaos is about to descend from her prison and take over the world. I think THAT takes precedence over everything!"  
  
Surprisingly, the gods and goddess did heed the cat and gathered around the portal, just as a tentacle reached out.  
  
Sparrow felt nausea roll around her stomach and she tore a gaze away from the sight. Just in time to see two chimeras launch at her.   
  
"STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" She yelled. To her surprise, the chimeras DID stop in mid-air, as if frozen. "Return to your place of origin!" she commanded and they winked out of existence.  
  
Rouge clapped slowly, "Very good, now catch this!" A flurry of daggers, swords and pointy things flew at Sparrow.  
  
She raised her arms and a hurricane blew towards Rouge, carrying the sharp objects with it. "Haven't you heard? What comes around, goes around?" she taunted.  
  
Before it was swept up, it rolled its eyes, or at least she sensed it did. "So cliché," Rouge sighed, "Not again! And those Stormwings stink!"  
  
This gave time for Sparrow to re-evaluate the situation. "Think, Sparrow, think, how would you get rid of Rouge?" Sparrow muttered. "Rouge says he is almighty as he can do anything, which is true as you CAN do anything you want in a fic. He said he couldn't die because he hasn't written himself out of the fic yet. That would be true as this world is shaped by fics…." Sparrow tilted her head, recalling the recent events. "Wait a second…"  
  
Rouge landed in front of Sparrow. "I have been too merciful," Rouge rasped. "Now you must die!"  
  
"You know, that line would have worked if your cloak wasn't torn in places, your voice didn't break, your body wasn't shaking and you didn't stink to the high heavens!" Sparrow remarked, holding her nose, she flapped her right hand at him. Flowers started to shower on him.  
  
Rouge, who was prepared for some attack, looked bewildered. It stepped to the side, the shower of flowers followed it. It sneered, "And what was that supposed to do? Fragrance me to death?"  
  
"Well, it does wonders to your BO (Body Odour)," Sparrow replied.  
  
"Time to end it," It clapped its hands together and the skies began to darken.  
  
"I totally agree," Sparrow responded heatedly. "You may think that just because you haven't written yourself out of this fic, you can't be banished. Let me enlighten you, oh conceited, arrogant, complacent, egotistical, self-deluded Rouge La Bu! You wrote yourself into MY version of Tortall. You may bend and twist the plot to your advantage, you may crack the earth open, you may raise mountains, you may call Chaos out, you may turn Tortall to dust, but at the end of the day, I have the FINAL SAY!" Sparrow raised her arm and pointed at it, and said in a cool voice, "Rouge La Bu, you are banished from this world and never to return again!"  
  
"NOOOO!!!" Rouge screamed and it winked out of existence.  
  
"Whew!" Sparrow exclaimed. "That was close." She dusted herself and wished, "I wish I was back at the palace with Lynn and Ginny!"  
  
Sparrow fell into a pool of water. "Umph!" she went and shivered. The water was cold!  
  
"Nice of you to join us, finally," Ginny said, relaxing at the shallow end of what seemed to be an indoor swimming pool.  
  
"No, it's not a swimming pool," Lynn chuckled. "It's in fact, a medieval bathing house."  
  
Sparrow appeared next to Lynn and Ginny.  
  
"You are getting a hang of your power," Daine commented, who was sitting at the edge of the pool and dangling her legs in the water. She was wearing a dress and it was hiked up to her knees.  
  
Sparrow allowed herself to look around, "Is this.."  
  
"Yes, the bathing thingy Daine went to when she first came here," Ginny responded.  
  
Sparrow looked at her in surprise. Ginny shrugged, "Hey, that was MY first thought when Daine brought us here to clean up."  
  
Sparrow smacked herself on the forehead, "How did I reach this state?"  
  
"For those who are ignorant, HUH?" Ginny yelped.  
  
"I mean, oh gosh, is this going to be my first RA fic?" Sparrow groaned. "My fics are all G, so far, none a PG!"  
  
Ginny smacked Sparrow on the head, "We are not naked, stupid! Our modesty prevents us from frolicking in this water naked. We have towels wrapped around us, duh, idiot!"   
  
"Whew!" Sparrow said. "I seem to be say that quite a bit lately. I think we would be more comfortable in swimming suits though!"   
  
Hey Presto! They were suddenly wearing swimming suits.  
  
"And," Lynn added. "If the water was warmer."  
  
"You wish is my command," Sparrow said mockingly, bowing like a genie. The water instantly became warm. No surprise there.  
  
"Thank you great genie!" Lynn replied solemnly.  
  
"Hey, there's only room for one Ginny around here and that's me!" Ginny responded.  
  
"That is SO corny," Sparrow commented. "Couldn't you be somewhere dry? You make my landing so uncomfortable!"   
  
"Looks who's talking," Ginny snorted. "At least we were not sitting on some hard granite rocky place!"  
  
"Point taken," Sparrow replied and told them what happened.  
  
"Sorry," Lynn said, breaking the brief silence after Sparrow's tale. "But could you explain your ability to defeat him bit?"  
  
"Well," Sparrow replied. "You see. Ginny earlier said that we each had our own versions of Tortall, right? Well, we are in MY version. MY version is shaped by my fics. Although Rouge did write itself in, I have the final say in things. For example, no matter how many fics I may write on Numair and Daine marrying, it doesn't affect Tamora Pierce's Tortall as she has the final say. I know others have written oodles of N and D marrying fics, but TP's books still indicate that N and D are single."  
  
"Ohhh," Ginny responded. "That explains why when you hit Rouge with a hurricane and he said stop, nothing happened. Yet when Rouge commanded chimeras to attack you, you could stop it. As you have the final say in your fics."  
  
"Correct," Sparrow replied.  
  
"Ahhh…" Daine said. "Numair and the others would want to know what happened."  
  
Lynn laughed, "What a subtle hint!" She inspected her hands. "We better get out before we become prunes!"  
  
Ginny feigns surprise and remarked, "Lynn, you mean you are not a prune?"  
  
*******  
"The strange thing is," Sparrow said, "Is why we are still here!" Sparrow had just finished telling her tale to a bemused group of Numair, Lindhall, Daine, Alanna, George, King Jonathon (who stumbled on them accidentally when he was hiding from wife no.24 and 31).  
  
"Yeah," Ginny added. "I mean, Sparrow fulfilled two of the conditions that was stated in Numair's spell," she ticked off her fingers as she spoke. "One, is to go home after an hour, and hello, it's been about 24 hours. Two, to help Tortall. Why are we still here? We should be home by now!"   
  
"Yeah," Lynn responded and screamed, "AND I HAVE MY CHINESE O'LEVEL ORALS TODAY!!!!"  
  
Everyone winced.  
  
"Shhh!" King Jonathon shushed. "Before you attract THEIR attention."  
  
Nobody needed to ask who the "THEIR" was. Everyone silenced, they had met quite a number of King Jonathon's wives and they weren't pleasant at all.   
  
"Oh Jonny!" s voice thrilled from the hallway.  
  
"Gods help me!" Jonathon wailed and hastened towards the window.  
  
"Um, your majesty, you do know that we ARE on the second floor," Lynn said respectfully.  
  
"Isn't that the point?" He replied and dropped out of the window.  
  
"OH MY GOSH!" Ginny yelped and ran to the window. "No, it's okay, he landed on some bushes. He's getting up..."  
  
"JONNY?" A voice screeched.  
  
"He's up and running. Yup, he's okay, nothing broken or anything," Ginny continued. "Man, can he RUN!"  
  
"Anyway, back to the present topic, please don't tell me we are stuck here with no way home!" Lynn yelped.  
  
Numair tugged his nose and had a faraway look in his eyes. "I don't know," he finally answered, shaking his head. "This spell has not at all went as it should."  
  
"You know," Sparrow remarked in the silence that followed Numair's speech. "I have a feeling I forgot something."  
  
"Of course, you have, silly," Lynn responded, whacking Sparrow on the head. "You have to clean up Michean's mess!"  
  
"Oh yah hor," Sparrow said. "I wish that the snow and ice would be gone, the crack on the earth as well, the architecture all sound and as they were before Michean bomblasted it. Oh yeah, and everything I conjured up during the battle would go back where it was supposed to."  
  
"Is Michean now, erm, safe? You might want to put it such that he would not go- " Numair asked.  
  
"Cuckoo?" Lynn supplied.  
  
"No, I was going to say berserk, but yes, I do believe your word does describe the situation aptly," Numair replied.  
  
Ginny laughed, "You make it sound like he is some sort of dog that needs to be neutered."  
  
"Okay, one neutered Michean coming up," Sparrow responded.  
  
"Um, I didn't mean it literally," Ginny said. "I think his future spouse would mind if he becomes a eunuch." The others laughed.  
  
"Yes, I guess he would be a tad annoyed, but I meant it figuratively," Sparrow responded. "I wish Michean would not be affected by any other fic writer's will, but mine."  
  
Everyone looked at her with a raised brow.  
  
"Hello!" Sparrow said. "I am planning on using him in my future fics you know! How can the plot go on if he doesn't do what I say? I also wish that other than the people in this room and King Jonathon, everyone else will forget about Michean going berserk."  
  
"It occurred to me the obvious solution to your problem," Numair spoke up, deliberating changing the subject.  
  
"Oh enlighten us, oh great one!" Sparrow retorted, bowing to Numair mockingly.  
  
"Just wish yourselves back to your world," Numair replied. "My spell won't stop you as you have, after all, fulfilled the conditions of the spell."  
  
"Oh yar hor," Lynn responded.  
  
Silence prevailed for a while.  
  
"Um, Sparrow," Ginny finally said. "I think that was your cue."  
  
"Huh?" Sparrow responded. "Oh, I was just thinking that I forgot something."  
  
"What could you possibly forget?" Lynn answered. "You didn't bring anything with you, did you?"  
  
"Oh yes," Sparrow smacked herself on the forehead. "I forgot the autograph book and negatives! Autograph book and camera with Tortall negatives appear!"  
  
The objects dropped on her lap. "I guess that's all," Sparrow said finally. "Though I still can't fight the vague sense that I forgot something."  
  
"Sparrow, stop being so paranoid!" Ginny scolded gently.  
  
"Yah, let's go home NOW before my Chinese O' level orals!!" Lynn demanded.  
  
"All right, all right," Sparrow replied.  
  
"Besides, if it is so important, you wouldn't forget what you forgot," Ginny responded.  
  
"I guess so," Sparrow answered doubtfully. "Let Lynn, Ginny and I be in our home world where we originally where, in the original time."  
  
They winked out of the room.  
  
"Well, I guess that's over," Numair said and cuddled Daine, who was standing in front of him.  
  
"Yes, all's well, ends well," Lindhall quoted.  
  
"I wonder," Daine said. "What Sparrow could have possibly have forgotten?"  
  
Meanwhile, the site where Sparrow had happily left the poor gods and goddess to hold Chaos at bay…  
  
The place was now empty and the gods were gone. A being observed the place with interest. The mortals that have fled the place had not returned yet. Foolish things. Mortals. It stretched. IT had been imprisoned for quite some time.   
  
It thought 'I was supposed to be trapped till the next star had fallen. It would eons before that happened. Thankfully, a being greater than those who had imprisoned me had freed me. It was good to be free. Now, I will seek revenge. Watch out! The foolish beings that crossed Chaos!'  
  
******  
  
Disclaimer: NO Sparrows or Rouge La Bus have been harmed during the writing of this fic! There is NO such person named Rouge La Bu and any body with its name alive or dead is a coincidence. No, nobody has written a Lost in Tortall fic to get lost in my version of Tortall. Daine and co., the concept of Tortall exclusively belongs to Tamora Pierce. Ginny and Lynn DO exist *grinz*, but they are VERY OOC in this fic.  
  
Note : This is my first mega long fic. I hoped you enjoyed and it and thanx for reading it!! Feel free to send me feedback at bibliophile88@hotmail.com  
  



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